Find cuisine of the evening

After a long days work and a long evening at the roommates friends place i find my self in that lovely place. you know the one. its 11pm and theirs nary a protein product in the house let alone anything else to fix. you look in the fridge and it looks like the island of misfit toys, but only for food. The Island of misfit ingredients. so as i gaze into my tundra of a fridge i find its time for another night of "Find dinning"

Find Dinning- the act of foraging in your own home do to lack of food. then putting what little you have to a meal.

so as i start forging as all good bears do i find the following

1 brick of cream cheese
half an gallon 2% milk
half pint of heavy cream
1 brick cheddar
a cup shredded cheddar
3 jalapinos
1 12oz bag of $0.79 corn chips
1 well stocked spice cabinet
so being a child of food and a lover of bad t.v. references i start to McGiver my meal. and i do as follows

take 2 cups 2% milk pour into a small sauce pot, then add a quarter cup of heavy cream. then chop 2 jalapinos and place in milk mixture. then i turn on that lovely gas stove and put it on medium low and let the dairy mixture start to slowly warm. while the milk warms i take my brick of cream cheese and start to cut it in to one inch sections. then once the edges of the pan start to slightly bubble and you first cube of cream cheese and bring you temp to low. once your temp is correct start whisk the cream cheese into the milk gently. once the cube is done melting into the milk start to slowly add the rest of you cream cheese[note: the cold cream cheese will lower the temp of the liquid in the pot, so if your cream cheese stops dissolving feel free to beef up to medium high]  once all of you cream cheese is completely Incorporated its time for the spices. these amounts are just suggestions not Gospel feel free to season to taste.

1tbl spoon garlic
1/2tbl spoon onion powder
1tsp of hickory liquid smoke
1tbl spoon of paprika
2tbl spoons Tapatio hot sauce
and 2tsp kosher salt [salt to taste is highly recommended]

once all your ingredients are in the pot gently whisk them in on low heat and let cook for 3 to 4 minutes. [not if your heat is to high it can cause the fat proteins in the milk and cheese to separate causing the appearance of lumps or a fine cottage cheese appearance. this is a code no bueno and its time to throw out the whole pot] once your cheesy mixture of amazing has set for the allotted time your going to take a cup of grated Cheddar and slowly add it to the pot while whisking. the suggested way is a half handful at a time. once all of your Cheddar has dissolved and your nacho sauce of velvet sex doom is lump free bump up the heat to medium high and let it start to bubble, then take of the heat and pour into a separate cool bowl to stop cooking. at this point your sauce can be used for any number of tasty things get creative, throw it on broccoli, toss it on cauliflower, dominate a steak with its cheesy love. the possibilities are endless.

But i digress. so your next step is to get out a oven safe pie plate and turn your oven to broil. take your oven safe pie pan and place your favorite corn chip product in the pan and fill it half full. then take a quarter cup of grated cheddar and place on top of the chips. after that's been done place more corn chips on top. [that's rite we're going for the fabled double cheese layer nachos folks. were saying fuck you to you cardiologist and i love you to your stomach tonight.] then take a cup of your cheese sauce and pour it over you corn chip mound nice and even and take a half cup of shredded Cheddar and place it evenly oven the top. take you pan and place it in your oven that should be set to broil and let set in the broiler on the top rack for two minutes and thirty seconds then remove from the oven and try to let stand for 2 to 3 minutes to cool.

your options as of now are many. you could be nice and courteous to the rest of your loved ones and serve up this slice of pure cheese heaven and let every on have at it. or you could be selfish and turn on your favorite t.v. show and pop a cold lager[would go best with this dish], if you don't drink alchol a nice crisp citrus soda[go best because of it like pallet cleansing properties].  if yo want to make this a actual dinner grill up some chicken and chunk it and throw it in to the pie pan with the cheese. and you'll have a very filling delectable dinner. this dish is even good for a big sporting event party. but be careful it will get all over your carpet new couch and clothing. so be sure to have the paper towls handy.

now being the Frankenstein to this monstrous nacho like beast i shall give my creation its name: V.S.D. Nachos. so please my hungry villagers chase my Creation with pork and dinner forks to the old dinner table and eat to you hearts content.

Cook or Die
The Grizzly Gastronome.

Despite the name is not a blog about my "disgust" with food, quite the opposite actually it is my self indulgent love letter to it. My sweet lady known as cooking. My stalker like obsession with all of her fine qualities. My school boy like fascination with her beauty and complexity. Even my love letters to her, point and case recipes. if anything i want people to take away my love and courage for cooking. To be more willing put down the $0.79 box of great value cheezy-roni and pick up a pot and make Moms, dads, husbands, wife's, boyfriends, girlfriends, sons, daughters, brothers, and sisters great macaroni.
Their is no need to fear that big metal hot box in the middle of your kitchen, and no i do not mean the dish washer. The stove can be a very daunting item of cookware. Its big, hot, and all around seems like its out to get you. BUT once you become friends with this Prometheanan gift you will never want to leave it.
The ability to cook can cause many wondrous things to happen in your social life also you can become a person of esteem and importance amongst your peers when they know your able to make a six coarse meal, or just plain bad ass salsa. you will become the stuff of legend. phrases such as "you have to try his/hers _____ its to die for" and "If you weren't a man/woman i would kiss you on the mouth" will become common place.
So pull out your big boy/girl apron and get ready to become the envy of the pot luck and the bane of the bake sell.

Remember Folks Cook Or Die (C.o.D.)
The Grizzly Gastronome